Between God and His Children

When my friend first told me she hated her own appearance, I immediately replied, "You are just being silly. God loves you and He thinks you're beautiful. He made you beautiful! You should think that!" She did not tell me about how she hated herself anymore. Problem solved, right?

A couple of weeks ago, my dad and I were discussing some of the mistakes of my past. "They keep coming back as if to haunt me," I told him one night.

"It makes me wonder if you truly understand the role of God's love and forgiveness in your life. Still, nothing I can say can convince you to let go of your guilt, that is between you and God."

Whoa. That was not a response I had ever heard before. "Nothing I can say can convince you..." 

How often do we think that telling someone they are being ridiculous is helpful or encouraging? Why do we think we can provide some sort of comfort by making someone feel bad about personal struggles? What can be gained from saying to a friend, "You are being stupid," when they are hurting and truly believe the lies that Satan is feeding them? It is not like they want to feel this way. Nobody wants to be depressed about their self-image or about whether or not they are truly forgiven.  

I mentioned earlier about telling my friend she was being silly and how she did not tell me things like that anymore. Problem solved, right? She must have heard my words, believed them, and miraculously realized she was beautiful, right? Wrong.

In a recent conversation, now two years later, that same friend mentioned to me her struggle with self-image again. Before she went on, though, she said, "Please don't tell me I shouldn't feel this way. I know God thinks I'm beautiful and stuff, but the problem is, I have trouble believing it. Everyone keeps telling me that, and it doesn't help!"

This time I knew how to respond. "I wasn't going to say that," I told my friend. "Nothing I can say will convince you of your own beauty and self-worth. That is between you and God. That is a personal conversation and struggle that you will need to work through with Him. I will be here to support you when you need it, but I'm not going to tell you are stupid for feeling that way. I will pray for you, I will pray with you and I will be here to talk with you when you need me. I promise."

Guys, all I'm trying to say is that we need to quit trying to make people feel bad for their lack of self-value in attempts to convince them otherwise. Pray for them. Encourage them. Be there for them. But let God work in their hearts as only He can. Leave it between God and His children.

-Andrea