It is has been almost a year since my last post, but here is a little essay/story for the holiday season. May you we never forget the "reason for the season" and may you, my dear reader, always "keep Christmas well."
A Family Meeting
I was shivering, more in fear than the coolness of the evening. The meal was set before us on the rooftop of our home and my family’s laughter and conversation were muffled by the thoughts swimming in my head. Joseph glanced at me with twinkling eyes and my stomach plummeted to my toes. I had waited as long as I could, but I would soon be showing and my family needed to hear it from me. I looked to my shaking hands and I cleared my throat.
“Father, mother, Joseph,” I paused, “I-I have something to tell you.”
Everyone blinked back at me with quizzical brows furrowed. The words would not come! Fear kept my mouth shut and tears welled in my eyes. I trembled more violently.
Lord, please, give me strength, I prayed. Help me to trust you.
“What is it you have to say, Mary?” My father inclined his head toward me, concerned.
I met the eyes of my parents, siblings, and of the man I was supposed to marry. The things I would say next could sentence me to my death. “I have been visited by one of God’s messengers and he said I am to have a son.” I exhaled in relief, but realized instantly that I had not been clear.
They were skeptical of my story, but soon they were rejoicing. They seemed pleased by the news. I knew I still had one more thing to tell them.
“We must get you two married soon, then!” My father cried, thumping Joseph on the back.
“That is not necessary,” I was almost shouting. This could get me killed. The thought was terrifying, but I knew I had to tell them everything. My terror swelled within me. “Because, you see, I am already pregnant.”
The words were out. In spite of everyone’s sudden mood change and the expressions of shock and disbelief, a peace fell over me. I was amazed by the words that I had finally spoken aloud. They almost seemed more true than before. Thank you, Father. A prayer for endurance and continued faith went up just before my father leapt from his seat and roared in anger.
My mother was in tears. Joseph’s eyes were wide and his look of disgust was agonizing. My father was spluttering and spitting, though no audible sentences were coming out. My siblings all looked around, scared and unsure as to what would happen next. I waited.
“Who is the man?” my father growled.
I lifted up a prayer for strength. Father, make them understand what I do not even fully comprehend.
“There was no man,” I said.
Joseph smacked the table. “We are not fools, Mary!” He cried out, angrily.
“I told you I was visited by the Lord’s messenger! His servant said I was to have a son and now I am pregnant! It is by no man, it is -it’s-” I struggled to free the words from my lips. They seemed so strange, so unlikely. “It is a miracle of God that I am now with child.”
My mother did not look at me. My father’s eyes were wide with confusion and Joseph was shaking his head in disbelief. I pleaded with them with my eyes, but I knew of nothing else to say. Joseph left in a rage and my father led my mother back downstairs.
Help them understand, Lord. Please, help them. Give me strength for the future.
I knew little of God’s great plan for the child in my womb. I was soon alone on the rooftop, contemplating the peace I still had in my heart. I placed my hand on my belly, and felt the tears spill over. They were not tears of sadness, and they did not come from thoughts of what would ensue with my family and my dear Joseph. They were tears of joy. They came from feelings of relief and peace and thankfulness. I realized then that no matter what happened I would have my Heavenly Father to lean on for strength. My faith and trust was in him for whatever my future held.
Thank you, Father.
Image from The Nativity Story (2006)
